See the gadget/widget on the bottom right?

The one with the virtual model in the red dress? I'm a bit pudgier than that, even though I popped my height and weight accurately into the page.

Notice how the model's shape doesn't change until it loses 48 pounds.

Now THAT is accuracy! I had to lose 50 pounds before I saw any change in my body shape when I went down from 296 to 245, and it was still barely noticeable. I wore the same size clothes, they were just a bit looser. Now that I'm 30 pounds higher, 8 years older, menopausal and officially hypothyroid, my clothing size is larger than it was at 296 because the weight didn't go back where it came from, it went to the butt and waist, instead.

I should have left well enough alone.

Next Contender, Please

Oh, fuck it!

I was about to write a long post once again about the futility of dieting for weight loss, yet I still wanted to try, try again because I looked in the mirror and saw not me but a tub of lard.

It's SO FUCKING DEPRESSING when I try, try, try and get so damn frustrated because I go 2 steps forward, 3 steps back. (And don't give me that Yoda bullshit "There is no "try," just do. I DO "do.")

This post I read this morning made me feel a bit better, but that was before I looked in the mirror.

I wish I could find - and afford - a therapist who is aware of Overcoming Overeating . In the meantime I keep hating the way I look, keep restricting my eating and hope that some day the weight will magically - and healithy - leave my body and make me acceptable to society.