The Extermination of Fat People

It's got to be done. Weight-loss, that is. Hospitals & doctors are refusing surgery to people because they're merely overweight; life-saving organ transplants refused until BMI's are brought down under 35 - an impossible task for people on dialysis with kidney failure or full of fluid because of heart and/or lung failure; refused joint replacements if BMI is over 30!! To think that I might be refused to be allowed to live until my weight is down to 170, a level I haven't seen in over 40 years, or even lower!!!

So what can I do?

Well, I already know I have to eat under 1000 calories a day if I want to loose even 1 pound a week, so I guess I'm going to have to stop eating full meals and just eat a 200 calorie "meal" every few hours. To prevent the nutritional deficiencies that will certainly occur by depriving this body of food I'm going to have to invest in some super-duper multi-vitamin and minerals, too. And why not an occasional trip to the hospital for some IV fluids now and then?

Forget exercise - my blood sugar will be so low, my bones so brittle, that anything I try to do will only harm me, if I even had the strength to do an exercise video or hop on the treadmill.

And I'll no longer be a good wife or mother, as I'll have no strength to care for this apartment or do any basic cooking or cleaning - I'm already weak and fatigued due to my 25 years history of CFS and now the still un-treated hypothyroidism. Sooner or later the doc will get the dosage right, but in the meantime being deficient is harming my metabolism a bit more each day so it'll never be considered normal. A slow metabolism isn't going to lead to any great amounts of weight loss, so I'll most likely have to eat even less way than the 1000 calories I needed to lose weight as an active pre-teen, over 40 years ago.

So I'll be obsessing even more about food in the future. Oh, joy.

But I really should have a more positive attitude about this. So what if I won't be able to eat again for the rest of my life. Food - and living - is highly over rated, don'cha think?

Nah! Did you (or *I*) really think that was gonna happen, that I would cut back my already trimmed-down list of allowable foods, the ones on the McDougall Plan for something less? Sure, I can go back to eating meat and dairy and count every quarter teaspoon that I use and maybe lose a pound or so a month. Then I would be feeling like I predicted above. Or I can just continue to eat healthy low fat vegan foods and let my lab work and blood pressure show the results better than the scale could.

Yeah, I think that's what's gonna happen instead.

Here I Go Again

Will I ever get a hold of my eating? Since my last post in October I spent 3 months passing the flu back and forth among family members, gained back 15 hard-lost pounds, fell back into the sugar and salty snacks, and almost completely stopped exercising.

I also stopped reading all my Overeaters Anonymous literature. I even packed up all the books and tapes and put them in storage.

But today a glimpse of sanity returned with the chance reading of someone's blog, someone who has recently returned to OA herself, and she sounded so serene, even though no weight had been lost yet.

I want what she has, and the only way to do it is to dive back into OA!

So today I went into the storage area and unpacked all the OA lit from that box. I kept all the diet books in there, though. Most of them are memorized already, anyway. A lot of good that did, huh? Already I read from my daily meditations books, typed up some journalling, re-subbed to the few OA lists I didn't find too over-the-top, and now I'm writing this post. Later on I'll sit in on an on-line meeting or 2, and tomorrow start the search for a sponsor who's compatible with my vegan food plan.